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I swoon over fictional men

Happy National Poetry Day!

Today is National Poetry Day and since poetry is what brought my boyfriend and I together, I figured a sickly sweet love poem was apt ;D

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A Cup of Tea and a Chinwag with Jazz; episode eleven, ‘Constant Companions’

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I’ve decided to take the plunge and sign up properly for Podbean! Episode eleven is a little different from the previous ten in that it’s neither about books or writing. It’s about my struggles with depression and anxiety and is essentially me talking through my various coping mechanisms in the hopes that maybe they’ll prove beneficial to somebody else.

Feel free to give me podcast a follow and check out the episode here!

‘I Am Legend’ Richard Matheson

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An acclaimed SF novel about vampires. The last man on earth is not alone …

Robert Neville is the last living man on Earth … but he is not alone. Every other man, woman and child on the planet has become a vampire, and they are hungry for Neville’s blood.

By day he is the hunter, stalking the undead through the ruins of civilisation. By night, he barricades himself in his home and prays for the dawn.

How long can one man survive like this?

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Okay, before I begin the actual review, let me just say this one, crucial thing; if you haven’t read I Am Legend because you watched I Am Legend the movie with Will Smith and a stupid, confusing ending…well, banish whatever notions you had about the book right now. They are two completely different entities. The book and the movie share a title, the protagonist of each share a name and there’s vampires…the similarities end there (although admittedly, on paper (or on screen, wah brackets within brackets…braception?) it does sound like they’re very similar).

I Am Legend is an interesting book. Clocking in at a mere 160 pages, it’s a book that’s a unique blend of sci-fi and horror and is a book that has inspired contemporary well-known horror authors such as Stephen King and Dean Koontz. Hell, if that isn’t an endorsement then I don’t know what is!

Now, this might be controversial to say, but the book didn’t blow me away (hey, that rhymed!). I Am Legend was first published in 1954 and since then, a lot of horror novels have been published. It’s not so much that I Am Legend is bad or boring, it’s more I’ve become desensitized to horror because it’s such a prevalent genre in the 21st century. Had I read this book upon its initial publication, sure, then I might have found it truly terrifying. The notion of a mysterious illness that turns people into the literal walking dead, an illness with seemingly no preventative measures or cure…it does sound like a scary premise for a book and it was…back in 1954. This isn’t so much a flaw of the book, this is more a flaw with me, its reader.

One thing I did really like about I Am Legend, though, is Robert Neville’s flashbacks. Seeing the life he’d had juxtaposed against his current situation served as a way of demonstrating to the reader just how much he’s lost. I think for me, some of the real horror lay in the fact that he’s completely and utterly alone with only his painful memories to keep him company. I may be generalizing here, but the idea of being alone is a frightening prospect for many people.

In terms of the narration, I initially found Neville’s thoughts quite difficult to follow, but upon reflection, I think the way in which his thoughts seem jumbled and nonsensical is a way of demonstrating how his loneliness is affecting him. The narration is a mirror image of Neville’s thoughts and, as a result, a reader really gets a sense of his confusion, fear and sheer frustration. It’s a form of narration that really gets a reader empathizing with him and books that allow a reader to walk in the shoes of another are books that are well written.

Overall, a cleverly, well-written book but not one I found overly scary.

Now, before I sign off this review, I propose a fun drinking game! It’s called Neck-a-shot-everytime-Robert Neville-spills-his-whisky-or-throws-or-breaks-his-whisky-glass. Let’s see how many of us can get past the third chapter!

Rating: 3 out of 5

Song: Iron Maiden’s Fear of the dark

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This book is available on Amazon in both e-reader and paperback format.

 

My new place

I’m not gonna lie…I did cry earlier on when I got dropped off here. About ten minutes after my grandad left, I was curled up in my chair sobbing “I just wanna go home!”, but after cooking some dinner and meeting one of my flatmates, I’m feeling much better. I’ve even begun setting up my room!

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You don’t have to say it, I know you love my duvet cover.
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Tea, pandas and books all on one shelf…perfection. 

Thank you for all of your support these past couple of days. You guys have really made me feel a lot better about moving! I promise I’m gonna be catching up in the next couple of days.

 

Tomorrow’s the big day…

…and I have comments to respond to, blog posts to read and reviews to write. Today has been spent packing and I went out for a meal with my family tonight too, but once I’m settled and have my internet sorted, I’ll catch up and annoy you all with endless pics of my new place!

Thank you for all the support, guys ❤

Need to vent

Sorry, guys. I was gonna use tonight to catch up on some comments and check out new posts, but I’m feeling down so I’m just gonna vent if that’s okay. Some people might just think I’m being stupid and whining. I probably am stupid but it’s my blog, my little corner of the internet, and I need to vent. The anxiety I’m feeling is becoming unbearable and I’m hoping me getting some of my feelings out into the ether might make me feel better.

I’m moving to Leicester on Saturday and I don’t want to go. It’s not me being nervous because I’m leaving the family home (again). I’ve done that before and I enjoy having my own space…

…I just don’t want to go back to university and there’s no one to blame for this fucking mess other than me.

I want to get on with my life; work and have my own place.

I’m socially awkward, shy and anxious. I’m going to be living in university accommodation, sharing an apartment with six strangers and the thought of it is making me feel physically sick. I know I’m nearly 25, but I keep remembering when I was in my first year of my undergraduate degree and lived with two girls who were absolutely vile to me. They were nasty to me and made fun of me and it got to the stage where I was spending nights at my friends’ places so I could get away from them. I know I’m a lot older and a lot more mature now – as will the other postgrads I’ll be living with probably – but I’m getting so anxious at the thought of living with unknown people. I’m not good at living with loads of people and I just know I’m going to be the person always left out of things and who no body wants to talk to. I repel people. They just think I’m stupid because I can barely string two sentences together without stumbling over my words and the thought of living in a place full of people who think that is terrifying me.

I’m not working at the moment and while I get I shouldn’t have too much trouble finding a part time job, I feel like I’m drifting around without purpose. The financial side of this venture is causing me a lot of anxiety. Postgrads get next to nothing once the loans have covered the tuition fees. I can pay my first lot of my accommodation fees but I have no fucking clue how I’m gonna pay the second installment in the New Year. Even with a job, I won’t be able to cover the costs.

And the social aspect of it too. The friends I have I have because they’re all just as weird and wacky as me, but what if I find no one like that where I’m going? What if I just spend the whole year feeling sad and lonely?

I’m being stupid. I’m being pathetic. I know that. I’m just beginning to fear I’ve made a massive mistake. I think about Saturday and I literally just want to cry.

 

 

Change – a poem

My podcast

Hey, guys! As some of you might have seen, I uploaded episode 10 of A Cup of Tea and a Chinwag with Jazz yesterday (check it out here if you so wish) and in the episode, I briefly explained why I hadn’t recorded any episodes in the last couple of months. I’ve decided to give PodBean a try and I have the memory capacity to upload two episodes with their free trial. Afterwards, I’m gonna have to start paying a monthly fee and I’m still debating whether or not it’s worth it. I know with a bit of promoting, I could get more listeners, but we’ll see. Anyway, check out episode 1, if you missed it all those months ago, which I uploaded today.

Music Monday – ‘The Burden of Being Wonderful’ Steel Panther

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This is my second week participating in Music Monday – a weekly meme hosted by Drew @ The Tattooed Book Geek – and I’ve got a real treat for you guys this week. This week’s song is The Burden of Being Wonderful by the incredible Steel Panther. Not only is it insanely catchy, it’s also weirdly uplifting. If I’d ever had a shitty day at work, I’d come home and play this song, cranking the volume insanely high as I sang into my hairbrush (yes, really) while I pretended that guests at the hotel were only mean to me because they were jealous…

Lyrics

Why in a world of ugly faces
Should I be allowed to be so hot?
So many people without talent
Yet I was born with all the magical gifts I’ve got.

The perfect body, the perfect face
It’s like God’s best work all in one place
But the haters hate perfection.
Can’t you see?

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.

How in a world that’s so imperfect
Did I wind up with so much cool?
Friends never stick around too long,
Never feel like they belong.
Next to me they feel like a fool.

I got the grace of a dancer, a golden voice
People seem to hate me like I had a choice
Being this blessed is a lonely way to be.

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.

Like me.

So you say you wanna hang around
Don’t ever ask me to dumb it down
I’m a diamond, I’m gonna shine
Compared to everyone else
I’m like a whole damn diamond mine.

Oh, yeah…

I’m just a Maserati in a world of Kias
Genius would describe any of my ideas
If I was born in 1453
Leonardo Da Vinci would be jealous of me
But a world of Stevie Wonders will never see.

It’s a burden being wonderful like me.

 

 

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