Check out my review for A Touch of Greek here!

Two god dates in a row!? Dayum *reclines in my chair and surveys you over the rim of my cup of tea* You’re on fire! We’re rubbing shoulders with some pretty powerful people. Maybe we’re in line for an upgrade. Perhaps *clears throat* we can persuade Ares or Triton to, y’know, turn us into minor god(desses). Or to at least ask their dads to anyway.

Leave it to me, honey. I’ll sweet talk ’em round my little finger.

What will you rule over? Hmmm *taps chin thoughtfully* I’m thinking I might become the goddess of…tea. Oh my. Yes, it’s perfect. People would build temples in my name! People would pray to me in the midst of a crisis and I, in all my golden glowy glory, will descend from the heavens armed with nothing but the tea suited for the situation. *puts on gentle, soothing voice* There, there, child. Fret not over your impending exams. Have some chamomile to calm ye frayed nerves.

*sees you looking at me with concern and raised eyebrows* Oh. Sorry *laughs* Getting waaaaaaaay ahead of myself there. So Triton, eh? The divinely delectable god of sailors and seafarers and calmer of storms. Admittedly not quite as badass as Ares, wielder of fire and owner of classic motorcycles, but still. You’re gonna have a blast! *checks clock* We’ve got about an hour until he arrives so let’s get you prepped! Date nights with Triton will probably/definitely include:

  1. Triton giving you a false name and then sheepishly admitting he lied. The lying’s an ongoing issue he’s trying to resolve…
  2. Triton blindfolding you and hand feeding you your favorite foods, seeing if you can guess what they are. More difficult than it sounds, believe me.
  3. Spending a couple of hours cuddled up on a sun lounger in the garden, gazing up at the stars as Triton reads you his favorite book (which, incidentally, is Tina Folsom’s A Touch of Greek. Hmm. A bit narcissistic if you ask me…not that you were but y’know, just in case you were going to.)
  4. Triton taking pity on you when he sees how much housework you have to do and calling his buddies over to do it for you. What a champ.
  5. You giving Triton driving lessons. When your dad’s the god of the oceans, why would you have a driving license? You just *poof* magic up a fish tail and away you go *looks down at my fish tail* What the fuck?
  6. *flopping around helplessly on the floor* Argh POSEIDON! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? Argh! Whatever. Triton helping you deal with any annoying relatives that might come on over uninvited.
  7. Triton serenading you with his conch shell (Did I actually just write that sentence?)
  8. Walking hand-in-hand along the beach.
  9. Triton, while laughing manically, dragging you into the ocean and taking you for a swim.
  10. You wishing you hadn’t worn your most expensive clothes.

*still yelling* POSEIDON! TRITON! This isn’t funny! *Poseidon suddenly materializes, cackling as the sight of me flapping my fish tail helplessly* Change me back! Now! 

*poof* Oh thank the lord *stands up on shaking legs* That was awful *glares at Poseidon* I take your fish man spawn is here too? *pushes you towards Poseidon* Eugh, please. Get him out of my sight. I need some tea. Have a good night.