This is also a ‘5 reasons why book girlfriends are better than real girlfriends’ but ‘5 reasons why book boyfriends and girlfriends are better than real boyfriends and girlfriends’ didn’t sound all that snappy, to be honest.
I’ve been single for well over a year now and I genuinely think it’s because of the sheer amount I read. Since deciding to dedicate my blog to paranormal romance, I’ve ‘met’ many weird and wonderful men, men who possess a wide array of powers and will stop at nothing to see their significant other happy and safe. Consequently, this has somewhat altered my view of what my future boyfriend should be like. My expectations are somewhat *laughs awkwardly* high. Not a demon king? Get out my sight. Not a vampire overlord? Get off my porch before I call the cops. Well, I exaggerate slightly perhaps…but seriously, read the below points and see if you agree. Hell, see if you can add more reasons.
1. Fictional boyfriends don’t break your heart. I mean, they’re fictional. How can they? They simply hang around in the pages of the novel, eagerly awaiting your next reading sesh. They don’t get up and, I don’t know, go find someone else because you’re taking too long to get back at them. The only way they’ll break your heart is if…if *lowers voice to a whisper* the author kills them.
2. They’re always there for you. Had a bad day? No problem, your fictional boyfriend is waiting for you back home, right where you left him (on the coffee table, beside your bed, next to the toilet – don’t tell me you’ve never read on the toilet. I can see the lies in your eyes!) Unless you have thieving room mates or family members, he ain’t going nowhere.
3. He has a positive and calming influence upon you. It’s been scientifically proven that reading significantly reduces stress levels. Has it ever been scientifically proven that dating a guy you met off Tinder reduces stress levels? Nope. Bam. Case closed *bows and makes a dramatic exit*
4. *makes a dramatic return* He doesn’t care that you’re a commitment phobe. It’s pretty difficult to whittle down your list of fictional boyfriends to just one guy. Monogamy is overrated…at least in the world of fictional dating anyway.
5. Dates with your fictional boyfriend are way more exciting than real life dates. Sure, they’re in your head, nothing more than vivid hallucinations playing out in your mind while you read…but still. Flying over a glittering New York City at night is better than sitting alone in a dingy bar while your date continuously vomits in the toilet after one too many glasses of wine (true story, by the way).