November 3rd: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?
To the man I thought I loved,
I wasn’t stupid to fall for your charms.
I wasn’t stupid to think I loved you.
I wasn’t stupid to think that you loved me.
I wasn’t stupid to pine for you despite how you’d irreparably hurt me.
I wasn’t stupid to think we’d be together forever and ever.
I wasn’t stupid in believing you when you said I was “special” and that you’d “never felt like this about anyone before”.
I was young. I was a romantic. I was an idealist. I was inexperienced. I was gullible. I was vulnerable…but never stupid. The stupid one was you. You thought I’d, to quote Gloria Gaynor, “lay down and die” once you’d chewed me up and spat me out. But (still quoting Gloria Gaynor) oh no, not I, I will survive. And I have bloody well survived. Sure, my confidence was in shreds and I deemed myself unworthy and unlovable for three years but I arose from the ashes of the hurt and pain, better and stronger. I’m better than you. I’m stronger than you. I am worth ten thousand of you and while I’m out there, living my life, you’ll still be where you always have been; on the lowest rung of the evolutionary ladder, nothing more than a parasite preying on the vulnerable and naive. I hope karma is the harshest of bitches to you. I hope karma not only bites you in the ass but I hope it devours you whole.
Phew. Tempted to put this in letter form and mail it to the pathetic son of a bitch.