Check out my review of Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

*looks up from my laptop and takes a slurp of tea* You, my friend, are in serious trouble. Bowen MacfuckingRieve? Lachlain’s cousin?! Didn’t you learn anything from that date? Wasn’t the bank cancelling your credit card a big enough hint? Wait, wait…don’t you remember the court case? We had to take him to court to get him to return the thousands he’d spent on designer clothes! *pours half a bottle of gin into my tea* I just can’t…*screams* I haven’t slept since receiving Bowen’s email. Sure, that was only an hour ago but still! Maybe I wanted a nap! Did you ever consider that, hm? Hm? I have been wide awake this past hour, drinking gin-laced tea and researching moon cycles and all that shit. Y’know, lykae do that whole transforming-and-chasing-women-on-the-full-moon thing. Thank God that isn’t tonight.

*pats the sofa beside me* Come now, stupid…I mean, naive one. Sit with me. Perhaps I’m being a tad unfair on Bowen. I’ve met the man and he’s a damn sight more likable than his cousin…but I’m just concerned. He’s way older than you for one and he has a terrible taste in music. Anyway, I’ll prep you as best as I can. Date nights with Bowen will probably/definitely include:

  1. Bowen boasting about how good he is in bed. I guess it’s true what they say about sex; it’s like riding a bike, once you know how you never forget. Even after nearly 180 years. Actually, they don’t say anything of the sort *shakes head* Ignore me.
  2. Trying to decipher his accent. To be fair, he might even just be speaking Gaelic and telling you about all the naughty things he wants to do with you. I mean, it is a first date. He wouldn’t want to be too forward by telling you in a language you understand
  3. Bowen becoming increasingly frustrated by his lack of music and movie knowledge.
  4. Steering the conversation onto less rage-inducing topics. Ah future goals, perfect choice…
  5. …Bowen sealing you inside a cave should he feel you pose a threat to his reaching of said goal.
  6. A war between the Lykae clan and I swoon over fictional, non-human men HQ. I passed the first grade in kickboxing four years ago, let me at ’em! *snarls and gnashes teeth*
  7. Bowen hotfooting it to your humble demon-infested abode and releasing you.
  8. Ignoring him and trying to find your own way back.
  9. Getting lost and reluctantly allowing Bowen to call Lachlain. Awwwwwkward. You guys didn’t exactly part on the best of terms…
  10. Coming home and telling me I was right all along – Lykae shouldn’t date mortal women. Still, I’ll have cocoa at the ready *smiles sweetly*

Oh lord. I can see his looming silhouette outside the doorway. Here, take this *hands you a pouch of enchanted glitter* Nabbed this off one of the witch covens. If he starts pissing you off, throw it in his face. He’ll either be too horrified at the implied threat against his masculinity to pursue you or it’ll curse him. Either way, you can do a runner!

I feel like I may have been way too harsh with poor Bowen here. He’s actually so much better than his cousin…I just feel dating a Lykae comes with too many risks! Plus their arrogance is a bit grating.