*lets myself into your house and begins making a pot of tea* Heeeeeey there. How’s it going? *starts opening and closing cupboards* Do you have any biscuits? What do you mean “no”!? *staggers backwards in horror* What the hell do you dunk in your tea!?
Anyway *settles for a chocolate bar* I Swoon Over Fictional, Non-human Men HQ have been incredibly kind to me this week. They temporarily released from my contract so I could go on a course…but now I have to work doubly hard to catch up on the dates I failed to arrange for you! Please forgive me *hands you your own chocolate bar* Here, take this as compensation.
*hoists myself onto the kitchen counter and begins sipping my tea* So, I’ve got a real treat in store for you tonight. Tonight *dramatic drum roll can be heard in the next room* Thanks for that, Illium *whispers* Our date went pretty well…*clears throat* Yeah, tonight you’re going on a date with not one but two eligible bachelors/Lords of the Underworld. Pretty nice, huh? With Lucien’s ability to teleport, he and Reyes could be here, like, any minute. So I best get a wiggle on and tell you what to expect from tonight. Date nights with Lucien and Reyes will probably/definitely include:
- A typical bacheloresque style dinner. Takeout pizza, anyone?
- You and Lucien restraining Reyes as he tries to leap from a window.
- Paris joining you guys in the entertainment room and trying to reassure Lucien and Reyes that he will not seduce you…he’ll simply try. Stay strong!
- Lucien and Reyes snarling at each other if they feel the other is doing a better job of impressing you.
- Catching Reyes trying to sneak out of another window.
- Lucien getting sick of Paris’ flirting and banishing him to the kitchen to bake cookies.
- Lucien flashing (am I the only who finds that term hilarious?) you and Reyes to safety so you can eat freshly baked cookies in peace.
- Deciding to end the night with drinks and dancing in the local nightclub in town.
- Being ambushed by Hunters who seem to think you’re the Lords’ hostage.
- Reyes cutting short their would-be rescue with a bad case of death before accompanying you and Lucien back to the fortress for video games.
*shrieks and falls off the counter as Lucien materializes* Dude. Some warning next time? Maybe a text to say “Yo, gonna be with you in two point three seconds exactly”?
Have fun. In fact, be sure to have double fun!