*leans back in the bath and sips at my wine glass of orange juice because I’m rock ‘n roll like that* Ahhhhh…my little chat with I swoon of fictional, non-human men HQ seems to have paid off. I haven’t been teleported to any random clubs in my PJs for nearly two weeks. Maybe my client has finally settled down and – *suddenly feels an all-too-familiar weightlessness* Oh hell no! Don’t you dare! *lunges for my towel*

*finds myself on the pavement outside Archangel Tower clad in nothing but a pink fluffy towel* Great. Fucking fantastic *glowers at a smirking Dmitri* If you don’t let me in right now I swear I’ll tear out all your fangs and make myself the prettiest fucking necklace you will have ever seen *sees Illium floating down towards me* Yo, Bluebell. A lift, please. Cheers *tries not to smile as Illium takes me into his arms and flies me to the roof*

*sees you sat on the edge of the roof, dangling your feet over the sides* You! *storms towards you leaving wet footprints in my wake* What could have possibly been wrong with Axel? Eugh. Never mind. Forget it. Can we get a space heater up here? I am freezing my tits off! *turns back to Illium* Hey, quite possibly the most beautiful creature I have laid eyes upon *clears throat* I mean, Illium. Don’t just stand there *clicks fingers* Find me clothes. Find me a heater. Find me a cup of tea. Now.

*turns back to you* So, Elena, huh? Switching teams again? Does Raphael know about this? Wait, does Elena know you went on a date with him? Actually, please don’t answer any of those questions. I am not getting involved in a love triangle involving the most bad-ass Guildhunter alive and Mr Tall, Dark And Dangerous With Added Wings. Forget it. Nah-ah. I’m gonna stick to my job description, thanking you kindly. Ah my darling Bluebell, you’re an absolute angel *snickers* Like, literally *mutters* Get a grip, Jazz *gratefully accepts jacket and tea*Anyway, you’re gonna love date nights with Elena because they’ll probably/definitely include:

  1. Normal mortal things, like a trip to the movie theater or a few drinks in a local bar.
  2. Elena proudly showing you her newest weapon and ‘accidentally’ shooting it at an unsuspecting Dmitri.
  3. A cute picnic up on the roof of Archangel Tower. The sight of angels flying against a backdrop of stars is really something, I hear.
  4. Visiting an immortal nightclub and having to take all the backstreets to avoid being hounded by the paparazzi.
  5. Hanging out at the Guild and making some new friends.
  6. Sympathetically listening to Elena as she talks about the trials and tribulations that go hand in hand with her newfound immortality.
  7. Elena showing you her greenhouse and gifting you with her most beautiful begonia. Collective “Aww!”, guys!
  8. A little bit of flying…not too much, though. She hasn’t yet completed her flight training!
  9. Online shopping for weapons. Raphael gave her a pretty hefty sum for helping bring down Uram. Ask nicely and she might buy you a little something too.
  10. The date being cut short due to a Guild job. Phwoo. Archangel’s consort. Guildhunter. That woman multitasks extremely efficiently.

I’m kinda hoping you guys will just see this as a date between friends…if Raphael finds out or if Elena leaves him for you…God help us all.