*takes a sip of chai tea and curls up on the sofa* Phew. Today’s been a rough day at work, I think I’ll run myself a ni-*is suddenly teleported completely against my will* Really? Really? *finds myself in Axel of Evil (which, by the way, is an awesome name for a nightclub)* I’m in my freaking pajamas! *sees you at the bar and marches over furiously* Couldn’t you have scheduled this date for a time when I wouldn’t be in my Grumpy Cat PJs!? Or in the middle of a cup of tea!? *slams Disney mug down on the bar, clicks fingers* Yo, can I have a SoCo and lemonade? May as well play the part while I’m here.
*sits down next to you and nervously smooths down my quite frankly adorable pajama pants* So, some place, huh? Where’s Axel at? I’m kinda hoping he gets here soon. While this establishment is *sees a random couple getting down and dirty in the corner*…interesting, I do have a date of my own. With a book. And my chai tea. Yeah, yeah, it’s all well and good you telling me to head on home but apparently my contract states that I must stay by your side until your date arrives. Yeah, I didn’t know there was a formal contract either. The bigwigs at I swoon over fictional, non-human men HQ are really taking this seriously…anyway *sips drink* Date nights with Axel will probably/definitely include:
- Trying to persuade Axel to visit the bathroom as power vibrates through his intestines.
- Hanging with his fellow Wing Slayer hunters and praying you have no witch blood running unbeknownst through your veins.
- Talking about your respective families and arranging a get together…far away from this place. Or long after closing time.
- Axel absentmindedly running his hands through your hair, treating each strand or tress as though it were the finest silk.
- Walking hand-in-hand around the lake, bathed in moonlight and kissed by the cool evening breeze.
- Introducing each other to your favorite musicians and bands. Axel might even let you update his iPod with a few new songs.
- Axel making spaghetti for dinner.
- Trying to convince Axel that you cannot feel power in your intestines.
- Possessiveness rearing its ugly head when you casually mention a male friend.
- The most sensual sex you will have ever had. If you’re lucky.
Oh goody, he’s here! *jumps up and snatches mug from the bar* Have fun! *vanishes in a poof of smoke*