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I swoon over fictional men

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August 2016

An important thing to remember

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I used to be incredibly embarrassed about the fact that paranormal romance is my preferred genre. Guys in particular used to find it hilarious, sneering “What, like Twilight?” if the topic ever strayed onto books. An ex (I say ‘ex’, it was more a brief fling while I was living in Japan) once referred to my beloved book collection as “that shit you read”. My temper flared in the face of this callous remark and afterwards, I asked myself why I got so defensive.

The answer is simple. Paranormal romance is everything I need it to be. It’s a genre that encapsulates many other genres, such as drama, fantasy and comedy. It’s a genre bursting with fantastical characters, worlds and events. It’s a genre that, quite simply, allows me to escape.

Paranormal romance has given me so much and the only thing I can give it in return is my loyalty and defense when it’s spoken ill of. It’s a genre that isn’t taken as seriously as it should be and I think it’s such a shame.  Some books are ridiculous I admit, but so are some horror books. No genre is perfect. Each genre has its own laughable tropes or stereotyped characters. I majored in English Lit and I can hands down say I find many of the so-called classics boring. Why should I read something that doesn’t capture my imagination or interest simply so I can name drop a few famous authors and titles in a desperate bid to sound cultured and intelligent? I have better things to do with my time. Like reading more paranormal romance books!

 

 

Date nights with Lucian would include…

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*finds self surrounded by mountains* For fucks sake. Really? I’ve got work in less than two hours! Where is she!? *sees you* Right, missy. I really, really need you to choose someone already! *shakes head* Do you know what I’ve been through in my quest to help you find your perfect man? I’ve gotten lost in creepy forests. I’ve had to run screaming from legions of Reborn soldiers. I’ve been attacked by a freaking archangel while waiting with you in a bar! And now I’m probably gonna be late for work. Not that I should really complain about that. The prospect of getting kidnapped by Prince of Assholes, Zephan, is far more desirable than working in customer service. Eugh *shudders*

Anyway, which of the brothers are you here for? Lucian? Dear God. You might want to do a warm up routine and guzzle a few protein shakes because date nights with Lucian will probably/definitely include:

  1. Sex
  2. Sex
  3. Sex
  4. Sex
  5. Quick eleven second break.
  6. Sex
  7. Sex
  8. Sex
  9. Sex
  10. Lucian telling you that you’re undesirable as a mate and/or fleeing to his tomb.

Quick! I think I spy him on the horizon! *starts doing squats* C’mon, get squatting. Get those loins ready!

 

 

‘Heart of a Dragon’ Alisa Woods

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Alright, so after the smoldering heat of the cover of its predecessor, I was a little disappointed with Heart of a Dragon’s cover. Definitely the same model, but he now looks like he’s in some sort of boy band. Is he actually…pouting? C’mon. Lucian is more rugged and wild than this. To be fair, people pout when they’re on the verge of tears and Lucian cries a lot in this book. Perhaps the cover is displaying the fierce inner battle he endures with his water works? Jeez, sorry. I’m very much judging a book by its cover here.

I’m not gonna bother with a summary because there’s three days separating the end of the previous book and the beginning of this one. The premise is still exactly the same.

I feel I prefer Kiss of a Dragon simply because more happens within it. Lucian and Arabella’s relationship kind of stalls in its sequel. Whenever they’re together, they’re literally just having sex. That is literally all they do. Outside of that, Lucian busies himself by running away and acting the martyr. I don’t even think they have dinner together. Arabella does more ‘couple’ stuff with Lucian’s brother, Leonidas, than she does with him. Their relationship seems completely built upon a foundation of steamy, passionate sex and while sex is great and everything, there’s so much more to a relationship.

Remember Lucian’s healing bodily fluids? Well, not only do they have incredible healing properties, they can also travel at super sonic speed. I love the lesson in dragon biology I’ve been receiving over these two books. Who knew a woman could fall pregnant and feel her unborn child and know its gender mere seconds after her lover’s climax? Damn, Lucian hadn’t even pulled out of her at this point! That is some potent sperm he possesses. Also his passionate cries of “Oh my love, you belong to me!” had me cringing a bit.

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Yawn. Give me Leonidas and Leksander’s stories.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Song: Foreigner’s I want to know what love is

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This book is available to buy on Amazon in both e-reader and paperback format.

As I sit here…

..sipping on my iced vanilla frappe (I actually asked for chocolate but I’m too British to say anything) I decided to ask you all a question. 

What fictional character has had the biggest impact on your life? It doesn’t matter if they’re from a book, a comic, a movie or even a game. They just need to be fictional. That’s the only criteria they have to meet.

Goku from DBZ has had the biggest impact on me. I occasionally mention my ‘dad’ on here, but in reality he’s my grandfather. My actual dad abandoned me. Three times in fact.

I started watching DBZ when I was 7 or 8 and I found myself in complete awe of Goku. He was flawed, yes, but he was so dedicated to protecting his friends, family and the people of Earth. He was so kind to everyone he met, wanting to see the good in everyone and not only that, I think he was a fantastic father under the circumstances. As a kid, I wanted to transcend the barrier between reality and the DBZ universe so he could adopt me! Sounds pretty stupid, right? As a child I wanted to have a dad so badly and Goku seemed to incorporate all the values I wanted in one. Nowadays I understand that my grandparents, with all their love and support over the years, are my true parents.

So how about you? I’m intrigued to know! 

Do you ever wonder…

…what it’s like at photo shoots for paranormal romance book covers?

Found the below example and tried to envision the shoot.

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“Hey, Kev. I need you to gaze at her hair.”

“Erm, sure. Not her face?”

“Nah, that’d be way too intense. Need ya to look, y’know, kinda aloof like an angel might be. Like you might fuck the mortal but it doesn’t bother you either way. Get me?”

“Okaaaaaaay.”

“Perfect. Cheers, man. Yo, Lisa. Can you caress his right peck? Yeah, like that. Close your eyes, imagine it’s a Krispy Kreme selection box. Imagine it’s a Krispy Kreme selection box for you and only you…damn, girl. That is some lust on your face.. Absolutely perfect expression.”

*Kev clears his throat*

“Should I…I dunno, hold her?”

“Hmmm. Maybe go to grab her right elbow? Like the touch might be too much? But you’re not sure? Make it look like you’re hesitating.”

“Like this?”

“Nah, kinda like graze the elbow with your fingertips. Like you’re dealing with some inner conflict. Should you remove her hand from your boob or not, that kinda thing. Get me?”

“Yeeeeeeah. Sure, I get you.”

I’m sure it’s nothing like this. I don’t even know what the above book is about or even if the cover models are called Kev and Lisa.

‘Kiss of a Dragon’ Alisa Woods

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Cover photo featuring an overly-muscled, smoldering male? What better way to lure me in? Plus tattoos. Phwoar *fans self*

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I get abnormally flustered over book covers

Lucian Smoke (paranormal romance authors really love the name Lucian. Ever notice that?) is dying. A crown prince and a mere five hundred years old, the odds are stacked against him. He knows his transformation into a wyvern is imminent…unless he both finds a mate that feels True Love for him and successfully bears a dragonling. It was a sweet fate once within his grasp. But haunted by painful memories, Lucian vows to never fall in love again lest he is forced to witness bloodied history repeat itself. A determined Lucian ventures forth into Seattle in search of a disposable woman to seduce into loving him.

And he finds her. He finds Arabella Sharp, a lawyer specializing in domestic abuse cases. Lucian soon realizes, much to his absolute horror, that an emotion he long thought dead is being rekindled within his heart. No matter how hard he tries to deny his feelings, Lucian Smoke finds himself falling in love.

Shit’s about to go down in Seattle.

Man, I should be paid to write blurbs.

I quite liked the premise of Kiss of a Dragon, the first book in the Fallen Immortals series. It’s quite dark and gritty, more so when it’s revealed Lucian was forced to sacrifice his previous mate in a bid to save their child. It’s not just your average , run-of-the-mill paranormal romance. It’s got all-you-can-eat-restaurant-size-portions of drama and heartache locked within its pages. What I quite liked about Kiss of a Dragon is that it’s different in the sense that Lucian tries so damn hard not to fall for Arabella. It’s so common for paranormal romance males to see a nice woman and think “My dick’s hard, it must be eternal love”. Not only is he reluctant to relive his previous heartache, he’s reluctant – no, scrap that, he’s unable – to force such a miserable fate on Arabella. Though he’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, he does possess a good set of morals. Plus he’s part fae and has awesome magical, demon-ass-kicking abilities. And can transform into a golden dragon. The latter alone is enough to persuade me to bear his dragonling babies.

I feel the phrase “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is quite apt when describing Arabella. Like Lucian, Arabella has experienced more trauma and heartache then ten people combined have in their entire lifetime. Although Arabella is plagued by memories of one particular incident, she utilizes all of her experiences to help other women in similar situations. She’s such a brave, strong woman and I think Alisa wrote her character perfectly.

There were certain aspects of the novel I didn’t like, though. For one, Lucian refers to Arabella as ‘my treasure’ and while I get treasure is very much a dragon thing, it troubles me that Lucian views Arabella in this way. I’m very much of the opinion that women don’t belong to any man, dragon prince or not. Secondly, his bodily fluids have restorative powers so he can keep pounding her because he’s healed her lady parts? What the actual hell? As mentioned in a post yesterday, the enhanced libido thing really grates me.

Anyway, I’m currently reading the second book in this series. Kiss of a Dragon ends on a cliffhanger so I pretty much had no choice but to dive straight into Heart of a Dragon.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Lucian and Arabella’s song: Skindred’s Own You

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This book is available both in e-reader and paperback format on Amazon.

Just no 

“He said all his bodily fluids had restorative powers.” – an actual explanation as to why a character’s lady parts aren’t sore after 24 hours of sex with a dragon shifter with an “enhanced libido”.

That damn enhanced libido trope again. 

The Hobbit! What about you? 

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