*opens door to Kinevane, muttering to self* How’d I get here? *sees you standing on the doorstep looking absolutely gorgeous!* Oh hey there. I love your outfit! Where’d you get it? Yeah, I know. You are a bit early for your date with Lachlain, but no worries. Come on in *opens door, ushers you inside* Tea? Coffee? Eighteen shots of vodka to numb you against the impending horror? No? Well, if you’re sure. Sit down…no, not that chair. Lachlain shredded the upholstery. Wait, not that one either *sighs* Actually, let’s just sit on the floor. Comfy?
Well, seeing as you’re here early, it’s perhaps only fair I tell you what to expect from tonight. So, for some crazy reason you’ve decided to have a date night with Lachlain. Good luck, you’re gonna need it. Date nights with Lachlain will probably/definitely include him:
- Tearing the clothes from your body as he’s overcome with his horrifyingly uncontrollable lust.
- Threatening to kill you unless you kiss him.
- Attempting to get you drunk so he can have his wicked way with you.
- Making you pay for everything. And I mean everything. Food, drinks, taxis…and for goodness sake, don’t let that man near any clothes stores! Unless you can afford a six figure credit card bill.
- Getting pissed that you’d have the audacity to show *gasps* bare skin. God forbid anyone else look at you!
- Publicly humiliating you.
- Openly mocking your parentage.
- Getting confused by the overly high-tech DVD player if you return and decide to watch a movie.
- Almost killing you while he sleeps.
- Bursting into the bathroom while you’re showering.
Have fun! *traces because somehow I suddenly have that ability*